- LJ Idol - Week 1 - Am I Crazy?
- January 22nd, 2013
I rub my tired eyes and fight against the sleep that so desperately wants to come, listening as the wind howls past the window and shakes the eaves. It's frigid out tonight, the kind of cold that sinks into your bones and leaves behind a dull and restless aching, and even inside wrapped inside of blankets I can feel it seeping in. I try my best to ignore the fatigue and the chill, fingers moving with steady fluidity as I hurry to scribble out all of the thoughts that are racing through my mind. Here, in the wee hours of morning, I put my pen to paper and I write. It's the only quiet time of day where I can see actual peace, the only time that is truly 'mine', and so I seize the moment while it is there.
Am I crazy? Of course I am. It certainly can't be entirely sane to give up sleep as I do, seeing the sunrise and the subsequent sunset day in and day out. It's probably not the most normal of things either that I have an uncanny ability for shutting out the world and slipping with ease into my own little version of reality. I let myself fall freely into my stories, mythical and illogical, because sometimes the world inside of my head just makes more sense than the one in which I physically live.
All writers, in a sense, have to be a little crazy. It goes hand in hand with creativity and imagination. You have to be willing to defy all that which you have been told, to question everything around you, and to have no fear. It is something that people who aren't writers can never understand, not really, and it can never be taught or learned. It's passion, always lingering just beneath the surface, a spark that ignites at a moment's notice without your consent. You find yourself living for words, yearning for those moments when the perfect turn of the phrase is there, and you are completely mad for it.
Shrugging off these thoughts I focus again on the task at hand. It is late, and I have much more to write before I can find rest. Perhaps I am crazy, but it really isn't so bad. I will see things most people will never see, I will experience things that nobody else can ever experience. If this is crazy, pure and total insanity, then I welcome it with open arms. There isn't anything else, nothing in the world, that I would rather be.